Microchips: Pro and Con

I worked at a veterinary clinic where the microchip, both dogs and cats was a popular service. The clinic was located in San Francisco's Pacific Heights, a very affluent area. The clientele were wealthy, educated people with the time and inclination to provide the best for their pets. And on those rare occasions when Fifi managed to stray out of the mansion and some good Samaritan brought her by the clinic, the first thing we did was run a scanner over between Fifi' shoulder blades. We'd detect the ID number, contact the database only to find out that the owner hadn't registered their personal information. FYI, The following database will handle most microchips in the United States...http://registermicrochip.com/. but you actually have to register the chip.
Sometimes, the owner would come in on their own soon enough to claim their dog. Sometimes, we'd turn the dog over to Animal Care and Control.
This anecdote serves to illustrate several points, not the least of which is that even educated people do some extremely stupid things. You need to REGISTER the chip. Always. Period.
If you don't already know what microchips are (if you've been living in a cave...before this economy, that used to be a metaphor)], microchips are tiny implants (about the size of a grain of rice) that are place under the skin, usually between the shoulder blades. The chip had a distinctive I D number (which the owner MUST register with a database). If the dog or cat is lost, a clinic or shelter will, hopefully scan the animal, find the chip, contact the database who will then contact then owner.
Microchips have clear advantages......if your animal is found, you will be contacted in a timely manner. This can clearly save both owner and animal a lot of grief.
Having said all this....
My research indicates that sometimes, the info on the chip can be damaged or corrupted with time....it's a good idea to have your animal scanned routinely every time you take them in for a check up or treatment.
Please keep in mind that the microchip is NOT some kind of tracking system...There isn't a satellite in space tracking the movements of every animal with a microchip...no one will be able to track your animal's movement. The chip is for identification purpose only.
Are there medical consequences for microchips? In a British study of 4 million microchipped dogs, less than 400 developed medical problems, these included site infection, migration of the chip, swelling....in two cases, cancerous tumors developed at the site of implantation....your dog is far more likely to be involved in a car accident (hopefully, with a human behind the wheel), than develop any serious medical issues.
In the United States, micro-chips are about $50...still a bargain.

The Best Dog for Couch Potatoes....Five Suggestions

You know who you are...you're the kind whose idea of exercise is lifting a soda can to your lips while you watch Game of Thrones (at the same time,  wondering why you just can't seem to lose any weight). If you live in the city, you do have to take your pooch out about twice a day; anything more just seems unduly strenuous. if you're in the burbs or in a rural area, you figure your dog is just happy romping around in your yard (you still should play with your dog to make sure they're getting SOME exercise). In other words, you love dogs, but you need the kind that's as laid back as you are, without being dead.
Here are some of my suggestions, based on personal experience, my years at a veterinary clinic, and some web research.
For low exercise, you basically want lap dogs....those sweet breeds or hybrids that don't demand a daily marathon or any other kind of extended exercise beyond brief walks or play periods.So, in no particular order....
1) The Pug -- A breed that looks like a wrinkled old person from birth., they seem to be happy doing very little. They 're pretty hardy and calm for a small breed. Pug owners I've known seem to find them soothing....waaaay better than prozac!
2) Pekingese -- My fave dog growing up was a peke named Groovy. He knew no fear...he would prance up to my scariest friends (the kind that wore leather and tats long before that kind of thing became widely acceptable) and charm them immediately. Aside from a little play, this breed is one of the least demanding in terms of exercise.
3) Cavalier King Charles Spaniel -- My personal fave. The embodiment of calm delight. Easily amused, few toys need, low key.
4) Chihuahua -- I've had bad luck with these (most of the ones I've known have been yappy...REALLY yappy), but everyone I know who has had one swears that the breed is low maintenance, needs little exercise or grooming (except perhaps the long-haired variety).
5) Havanese -- Spunky little dogs, the coat needs a fair amount of attention, otherwise a sweet breed, great for apartments.
Any other breeds suitable for the chronically laid back?

Al
www.adogblogforeverybody.com

Acupressure OR does your dog get the point?

Acupressure seems like a kinder, gentler form of acupuncture....while I've known a fair number of people who have tried acupuncture with some success including a friend who totally stopped smoking after five acupuncture sessions (he had a pack a day habit  for about twenty years), acupressure just seems like a kind of focused massage.
As for the veterinary use for either method, I've found little but anecdotal evidence out there for either acupuncture Or acupressure. I have a good friend who works for a pet food and supply chain and he told me about something called the Thundershirt....a kind of snug vest for dogs....the garment applies gentle pressure at various points on your pooch's torso and the effect is supposed to relieve anxiety and help with stress. I don't know anyone who actually has used a Thundershirt for their dog (evidently the garment is not sold at either Costco or Target)....so I looked at YouTube...
here's what I found.
Does anyone know anything about either acupuncture/pressure for dogs or about the Thundershirt...

Thanks,
Al
www.adogblogforeverybody.com

The last word on names is.....

Your imagination....and lifestyle. . .if it needs to be aided by a bit of drink or smoke, so be it....

Come to think of it Bong, ZigZag or Stoner are great, distinctive names for dogs, particularly hairy mutts. Other good names for hairy mutts are Furry or Freak.

More in the Rock and Roll....think Blondie for Golden Retrievers, Cocker Spaniels and such. Axel, Slash, or Foo are great names. Rapper for a cool tempered dog (teach him to bark rhythmically...so cool).

For a ghetto edge, Mofo is good name...Honkie is a great name for a big, dumb white dog. Latino Ghetto would be names like Chinga, Chupa, Bicho.

So, throw your tired PC concerns out the window and name your dog any damn thing you please.

Job or Hobby Names

Okay, so you may not want to name your pooch Accountant or Programmer.....but how about Cash or Hacker?

Screwdriver is a good name for a dog if your a carpenter (or a bartender...). If you're a lawyer or a sex-worker, simply drop the last two syllables....but if you do that, you might be careful about calling for your dog in the park.

Even if you're not a bartender, if you just like a drink occasionally, think of the possibilities....you could name your German Shepherd Jagermeister, your Chihuahua, Margarita (for either sex)...if you had a dog with a sad face, like a bulldog or a pug, the name Wino would work. Wine snobs can name their dogs Chardonnay or Cabernet.

People on the medical field can name their Dachshunds Syringe or Needle (as can drug dealers.....maybe not a good name after all..) X-ray is a good name for really lean dogs, like Greyhounds or Whippets. Muscley dogs, like Gordon Setters or Staffordshire Terrier could be called Steroid. Gynecologists can name their dogs Stirrup or Cervix.

Clever, funny and risque names

Famous theatre/literary critic and humorist Dorothy Parker named her canary Onan because, "he spills his seed upon the ground".
Of course, these days, you are likely to have to offer an explanation of who Onan was (see Genesis 38: 9-10). Nonetheless, clever funny or even risque names will bring a chuckle (or gasp) among friends and acquaintances.
These kinds of names are probably best suited when you adopt an adult dog...ones whose habits and personality is well-established.
Think of a dog who has given you a number of minor things to complain about...you might name such a dog Peeve (as in, that's my pet...).
A dog who constantly licks their groin can also be called Onan if he is male and Lickety (as in lickety split) if she's female. If you want to be even more crude, name him Scrotum if he's a boy and Clitoris if she's a girl.
A dog who is fat, flatulent, neutered and barks to excess can be called Limbaugh.
A dog who enjoys looking at themselves in the mirror can be called Narcissus or Mitt if he's male or Madonna of Khloe if she's female.
An old dog who acts like a sexually active young dog can be called Jagger if he's male or, again, Madonna if she's female. Again a more crude version might be Dawg or Bitch, depending on gender.
Just take a good look at their habits.

Names and places...one and the same

How about a name based on location?
For example...Frisco can be a good name for a dog living in the City by the Bay (though don't, under penalty of social excommunication, refer to San Francisco as "Frisco" while you are actually in the city). Castro works if your dog is muscular, fastidious and likes to run around naked and have sex outdoors.
If you live in New York City, Bronx would be a great name for a dog with a violent rep, like a Pit Bull. If you're a young Boho, Brooklyn is an apt name for your dog...(avoid calling your dog Manhattan...too cumbersome)Queen is good if either you or the dog is a tranny). Speaking of trannies, Giuliani is a good name for a dog who looks comically awful in a dress and wig
If your dog is a Havanese, try Miami, or Scarface if they're a Havanese who looks a little worse for wear.Castro also works, but for entirely different reasons than those cited above. ChaCha is another apt name.
Allow yourself to be inspired by wear you live!